|DANCE CENTRAL PRINTING|
Well, how to put this?
I've been doing a lot of thinking about..well my body and how I was born. Ever since I was 15 or so, I've been wondering if I was in the right type of meat bag.
Some people feel comfortable with their bodies, some others don't. Some things can be changed to please oneself and be comfortable enough to keep on living on the body they were born with. And then there's me hahaha.
I haven't felt like I was comfortable with my body for a loong time and now, I realized a few years ago -when I gave it some serious thought- that it wasn't about being fat or thin only. I can get fitter, thinner if I want to and if I put all my heart and mind into reaching that goal, but I realized that i wasn't comfortable,not because of that, but because of something else.
It's like looking at myself in the mirror and just feeling that there's something wrong. I came to hate my small breasts and the way my chubby hips looked like. I guess that my point here is clear by now, when I mean that I may be more comfortable being just a guy than a girl.
It's been confusing for months, haunting and troubling me, but I made up my mind, so that's why I'm typing this right now. I'll stop being a "girl" and I guess that I'll be just "another dude" now. I'm also thinking about starting a hormone treatment sometime in the future and try to get rid of my breasts since they have been bothering me for a long time, and I don't plan on having kids or anything like that.
It's still weird, I need to get used to the idea, but I felt like I needed to share this, at least here, on the internet, where I know people won't judge me as harshly as in "real life people" despite me having amazing friends who supported me and will still support me through the difficulties, I'm afraid my family won't take it as well as you guys.
So I need to make this first step.
This is something really important and I really appreciate everyone who was there with me and who listened and understood. Friends who said that I could be whatever I wanted, it's my body, these are my choices, and if I feel happier being that guy instead of that girl… Then I shall go for it. It's going to be a long process, very long, very painful probably, very hard, and I really, I reallyappreciate those peeps who were close to me and held me when I felt like I couldn't keep up.
Thank you for reading and for understanding guys, and as always, sorry for any silly typo.
I'm just a 20 year old dude, who likes gaming, drawing, eating and going out with friends.